sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
