We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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