There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
