So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
We talked him into tasing himself.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
