My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
