He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
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