You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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