i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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