i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Randomize