dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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