We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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