The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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