I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
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