Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize