I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
