The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
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