I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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