If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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