how hairy? two words: wookie tits
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
