A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
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