I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
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