Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
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