im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
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