My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
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