i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
