with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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