How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
