youre lurking in front of me
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize