She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
