I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
