She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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