this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
