When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
