I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
