I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
