You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
