don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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