I hate your face
Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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