Quick, to the slutcave!
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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