HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
