Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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