when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize
