There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize