dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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