I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Randomize