I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
