Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
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