I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
