For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
