I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
