We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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