Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
