I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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