At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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