Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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