My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
