Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
