Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
