You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Randomize