I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
