oh god the rape fog is back!
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Randomize
