he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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