yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Randomize
