Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
