he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
