Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Vodka?
Forever.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
i believe in u and ur pee
Randomize
