Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
