I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
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