I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
