Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
