Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize