remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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