dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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