I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize