All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
are you so shy because you have an std?
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
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