So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
