I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
