you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
