i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
