apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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